Selfishness is something we all have. If we look closely at ourselves, we will find that we are all selfish at times.
However, if the element of selfishness is intense in the relationship, it is very likely that the cause (or all of your relationships) is not healthy and functional.
It makes sense to be selfish sometimes. However, we must acknowledge this emotion and accept it so that it does not gradually become an obstacle to building quality relationships .
Many times, both people are selfish in a relationship. As a result, there are many conflicts and tensions and the relationship may even lead to separation.
If there is no mutual understanding and mutual respect, and the intention to get one another in place, then breakup is one of the possible outcomes of the relationship.
But what are the characteristics of a selfish?
What causes selfishness when there is so much in the relationship?
And how can it finally dissolve it?
The Key Features of a Selfish
We can easily distinguish a selfish, as long as we know the basic features of it.
The most common and most easily found in a selfish person, and of course in our partner, are:
- He does not admit his mistakes.
- It never makes concessions .
- He wants to be always right .
- He blames others for his mistakes.
- He does not care about the emotional impact of his actions on those around him.
- It recognizes the vulnerabilities and uses them against it. He may exhibit manipulative behavior in order to get his own.
- He thinks he is superior to others.
- He wants to control everything.
- It’s not easy to share .
- It offers no value to others.
Of course, it is extremely rare for anyone to combine all ten of these characteristics. Usually, egoists combine some of these characteristics. However, this list is one example of some of the most basic behaviors a selfish person can have.
But if one exhibits only one or two of these behaviors, then that does not necessarily mean that he is a selfish one. It just has some weaknesses and some selfish behaviors, like all of us.
How Selfishness Disrupts Your Relationships
In any case, whatever person you have against yourself and no matter how selfish you seem, eventually you will have to look at yourself and find out how you will work better, you will not behave selfishly and of course you will be able to deal with them selfish around you.
Once you realize that there is nothing more important than yourself, you will be able to cope with what is happening and, above all, eliminate your selfish behaviors in your relationships.
Because it all starts with us.
Many times, egoists become toxic and create toxic relationships.
By reading below you will find out the main reasons that selfish behavior can break down your relationships.
# 1. Because of Selfishness, You Don’t Communicate Correctly With Woman
Selfishness prevents you from creating quality and deep communication with your partner.
If you are both selfish, it will be very difficult to communicate effectively, as you both want to be right and have no intention of resolving your issues.
This can often bring you into conflict and destroy your relationship in the long run.
# 2. There are often Conflicts, Tensions, and Inappropriate Behaviors
Just because you can’t communicate effectively, there are frequent tensions and conflicts in the relationship.
This is due to the fact that both of you refuse to give in and get into each other’s position.
In your mind, it is more valuable to be right than to have a functional and harmonious relationship.
So when something goes wrong in the relationship, you conflict and you don’t finally solve the issue.
# 3. You Don’t Have the Will to Really Hear One, Why You Are Living Selfishly
Selfishness is an obstacle to truly listening to what the other has to say, as everyone only thinks what he or she wants to say.
Also, because selfishness tends to blame those around them, they will hardly become active listeners.
Basically, they don’t care what the other has to say, as long as they hear their own and are right.
This raises huge issues in the long run, as you are essentially not going to hear how the other person feels, as long as you do not back down and find that you were wronged.
# 4. Because of Selfishness, you don’t understand how the other person feels
Because the egoist only seeks to be good to him and is indifferent to the emotions that his actions create for others, he refuses to get in the position of his interlocutor and to perceive how he can make him feel.
And that can be devastating.
If there is no empathy in a relationship, then toxic and negative emotions will be constantly created.
One or both of them will feel permanently wronged and their partner is not interested in how they feel.
In a healthy relationship, people want and aspire to be and feel good about their partner.
If this very important piece is missing, then the relationship becomes catastrophic.
You have to be very careful, because a selfish behavior is easily transformed into manipulative.
In closing, I would like to emphasize that every relationship has pieces that are not as functional.
However, operating both individuals selfishly can bring enormous toxicity to both or even lead to separation.
That’s why it’s good to work on our selfish parts and above all, to accept them. Recognizing and accepting these behaviors is the first step towards their complete elimination.
In addition, we need to understand that a healthy relationship needs empathy, the ability to recognize and care for one another’s feelings. As well as mutual retreats when needed.
If we are selfish, then we do not care about having a successful and quality relationship, but just being good to ourselves.
And this, of course, never leads to the desired love effects.