It is normal that you want to like others. And when I say I like it I do not mean only erotic but in general. It is our natural desire to be liked and not disliked and is perfectly normal.
But when simple desire begins and turns into need then things change and become more complex and mostly oppressive.
Why You Need To Enjoy It
When you need to like others , your mind introduces you to a labyrinth where you try at every personal cost to be liked, accept acceptance and anything you make acceptable to others.
As I wrote above, it is not at all bad to want to like others. Anyway, being pleasurable, positive and polite are enviable virtues .
And of course sometimes we will have them because of social needs.
But when you have a great need and not just a desire to please, your mind guides you into behaviors that depress rather than express you.
You may never interrupt others so that you do not express your opinion at all, you may never say to satisfy others and reach the point of doing things you do not want.
Perhaps in your effort you may like to think too much about speaking and giving your opinion because you are afraid of the sort of criticism that others can do.
In your endeavor you will often feel where you fight to get positive impressions about your behavior or your way of thinking.
What happens in these cases is that the real cost is the lack of authenticity and that when this goes on, there is a risk that others will not know who you really are.
The need to love states to ourselves and to others that the acceptance of others is more important than the acceptance we offer ourselves to ourselves.
When you have the constant need to accept others, it is as if there is a fog in your head and it does not allow you to affirm yourself to yourself.
In this way, you expect a positive reaction from an exogenous factor to confirm that you have positive elements.
But your friends’ opinion may be more important. Or maybe not.
When You Want To Enjoy …
When you like it, there are some features that reveal it. Some examples are:
You can not say easily no, you hesitate to express what you really feel, you feel nervous when someone tells you his opinion about you, you agree with things that you really disagree, fear not to annoy others with something you do or you will say and place the needs of others continuously higher than yours.
The truth is that when we constantly seek others, it means that in some areas we do not accept ourselves.
Sure, we all need to accept otherwise we would live in a cave. But when we always need it, we are afraid to risk and take responsibility at the end.
When you need to like and get accepted by others, you will always expect others to give you the green light to take an initiative and claim what you need.
It is not bad to want to like people who have value to you. As I said above, it is normal. But when this becomes a need that is never satisfied in the end, then things become complicated.
The reason, of course, is that if you keep in mind that you have to like others, you will shape your actions, your choices and, by extension, your character based on the criteria and the availability of others .
And this is neither healthy nor functional.